IELTS Writing Task1 強化訓練
問題文
The table shows the usual method of travel to work for people in four Australian cities in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
| City | Drive (%) | Public transport (%) | Walk/Bicycle (%) | Work at home (%) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sydney | 65.5 | 21 | 6 | 7.5 |
| Melbourne | 74.5 | 13.5 | 4.5 | 7.5 |
| Adelaide | 80 | 8 | 4 | 8 |
| Hobart | 76 | 5.5 | 8 | 10.5 |
私の回答
This table illustrates the daily method for commuting in four Australian cities in 2016. Generally speaking, driving was the most popular way for commuting. Walk / Bicycle was the least popular way, except that of one specific city. To speak of the second most popular method, two types of tendency were shown: one is the group which had Public transport, the other which had Work at home.
Driving was the most popular means for commuting. It was the most popular way in Adelaide among these 4 cities, marked as 80% in that city. On the other hand, in Sydney, it was marked as 65.5%, the lowest in the Drive, although in that city this is the most popular way for commuting. The least popular way for commuting was Walk / Bicycle among Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide. On the other hand, that of Hobart was Public transport.
As mentioned above, you can see two tendencies in these four cities: Sydney and Melbourne had Public transport as the second most popular method. On the other hand, work at home was that of Adelaide and Hobert.
私の意図
交通手段ごとの割合の最大・最小の傾向/都市ごとの傾向を述べる。
修正点
- 最初の要約が一文にまとまっておらず、明快さに欠ける。難しいことを言おうとせずに、もっと簡潔に述べるべき。その後の文章は具体的な数字で説明しているが、繰り返しが多い(On the other handが3回...)
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